Into the Slammer
by Lionel Nixon
Summary: That awkward moment when you have to explain to your friends how you got arrested.
1. Chapter 1

**Just a fun little story I'm doing because I have no life :D**

 **TT**

Wally huffed. How'd he get here? No, wait, he knew exactly how he got here.

He spotted a shadow around the corner, and he jumped to his feet.

"Hey! I know my rights! I am an American citizen! I fought a revolutionary-civil . . . uh-war for those rights!"

"Oh, pipe down, prisoner 123," Artemis rounded the corner. She stood with Dick, Megan, and Connor.

"Dude, why is the police department holding you?" Dick asked.

"It's a long story," he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Not like you're going anywhere," Artemis scoffed.

"Here's how it went down . . ."

 **TT**

 _Wally walked down the buzzing streets, dodging rushing people with ease. He looked across the street, spotting his intended destination._

 _Al's Adult Movies and More._

 _He grinned from ear to ear, as he looked for the nearest crosswalk. It was a good ways off. A distance he really didn't want to walk. Sure, he had super speed, but he couldn't risk it. Being Wally West was so boring sometimes. He couldn't go in there as Kid Flash and have someone spot him._

 _He could see the headlines now . . ._

 ** _Kid Flash: Hero or Horny?_**

 _He had a rep to uphold. He had to get in and get out quickly. He couldn't wait for a bunch of cars to stop. Suddenly, he saw a brief opening and decided it was now or never._

 _He swiftly crossed, dodging most cars, but one came to a skidding halt just in time._

" _Watch it, bub!" Wally hit the hood of the car. He turned away to silently shrieked and hold his hand._

" _Get out the way, bozo!"_

" _You need to stop driving like a maniac!"_

" _Watch out or next time you won't be so lucky."_

" _Ah, shove it up your-"_

" _Hey!"_

 _Crap! The po-po! He had two options:_

' _Officer, did I do something wrong?'_

 _Or. . ._

 _Run like all hell had been unleashed._

 _Wally bolted down the sidewalk. The policeman chased after him, but there was a large group of elderly ladies speed walking._

 _He ran through them, desperately trying to dodge any one he might run over. "Sorry ladies! See you on Monday!"_

 _He ran in an alley, and pressed himself against the side of a building. Luckily for him, the officer ran by. He doubled back, and went to Al's._

 _He let out a breath of relief as he took in all the glorious movies. A mischievous grin spread across his face. After debating whether to pick blonde or brunette, he walked to the counter._

" _Did you find everything you were looking for?" The bored young man asked. Wally nodded. This wasn't the person that usually worked here._

" _Uh, these are rated R. Can I see an id?"_

" _It's an adult movies store, everything is rated R!" He exclaimed exasperatedly._

" _I can't sell you these."_

 _Wally smoothly opened his wallet, and pulled something out._

" _How about now?" He slid it across the counter, and looked away._

" _Are you trying to bribe an Al's Adult Movies and More official with a McDonald's coupon?"_

" _Crap, I need that," he fumbled with his wallet. "What flavor Boba will it take for all this to go away?"_

" _Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," the man sighed._

" _Come on, man . . ."_

" _If we have a children's section shipped to us, you'll be the first to know." He assured him sardonically._

" _You do see the stache coming in, right?"_

 _The same policeman walked by, and the clerk gestured him in._

" _Well, look who it is . . ."_

 **TT**

"So then they brought you here?" Dick asked.

"No, I made another run for it, then he caught me, then I pantsed him. Then I ran and got caught again. And here I am."

"Wow." Megan mumbled.

"I know . . ." Dick mumbled. "You shop at Al's too?"

Everyone looked at him, and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

"What? I just go for the more, I don't go for the movies."

"What is it going to take to get me out of here?" Wally interrupted.

"Guess we have to pay the bail," Dick shrugged.

"How much is it?"

Connor went to the officer, and came back a few moments later.

"Two-hundred dollars."

"Did he say it has to be American dollars?" Wally randomly asked.

"Well, they aren't going to take a Canadian loonie," Artemis rolled her eyes.

"Dang it," he emptied the gold currency from his pocket.

"What? Why—never mind."

"I'm getting out of here," Wally decided, and put his hands on the bars.

"There are cameras," Dick mumbled.

"Megan . . ."

"Sorry, Wally, but it's a little risky."

"Wow. Who knew people's true character shows when you're in prison?" He huffed.

"I'll call your parents," Dick got his phone out.

"Dude, I'm going to get in trouble."

"You were shopping at Al's Adult Movies! You should get in trouble," Artemis declared.

"I'll fix this myself. I want my one phone call," Wally shouted.

Once he was on the phone, he pressed a familiar number for when he needed money.

"Ollie, my man . . ."

 **TT**

 **Like, Favorite, Review.**

 **Not necessarily in that consecutive order but sure if you want**


	2. Chapter 2

**Now that I think about it this took a while…oops hehe**

 **To be honest I wasn't planning on doing another chapter but hey! Give the people what they want! Thank you all for wanting!**

 **TT**

"'Do your worst, Karma' I said. 'I can handle it' I said. And, well, Roy . . . here you are," Wally sighed.

Here were his friends again, standing in front of him. Some with a smirk, others with a look of pity. You can probably guess who.

"Smile, prisoner 123." Roy snapped a picture.

"Already said that one," Artemis chimed in. Roy scowled at her with a roll of his eyes.

Apparently, Ollie had a surprise meeting, and he had to fly off to Romania. Ollie wanted to help, so instead he sent . . . Roy. Much to Wally's misfortune.

"Now, play the harmonica," Roy slipped in a toy harmonica, as he aimed his camera.

"I may be reduced to a prisoner; the lowest of society, the scum of the earth, but I still have my dignity!" He declared.

"If you ever want to see the light of another day, you'll start playing," he suggested forcefully.

"You are a bad person. . ."

He blew into it, sliding it up and down. He began to sing, surprisingly well.

" _I made some bad choices._

 _Now I'm in the slammer._

 _Curse Johnny La-a-aw, for bring down the hammer._

 _I wish I had avoided that cursed Playboy!_

 _I take Dinah, Bruce, or Ollie, just anyone but Ro-o-oy!_

 _I wished it was as easy as walking out the door, but instead,_

 _I spent all my money, at Al's Adult Movies and More!"_

Even Artemis and Roy couldn't help but clap.

"Send that to me?" Dick peered over Roy to watch. Wally glared at him, as Dick chuckled sheepishly.

"One: I'm keeping this harmonica. Two—get me out of here!"

Roy inhaled sharply, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, this is awkward, but my wallet is at home. Sorry, heh."

"No, I'm sorry . . . that I didn't call Bruce!"

"Dick, why don't you pay it?" Roy volunteered him.

"About that . . . I'm kind of on probation," He chuckled.

"For what?"

"Cheerleaders, Bruce, there was a fire . . ." He chuckled hysterically.

Wally stared at him blankly. "We should hang out more."

His attention turned to Roy. "Why are you still here?"

"My wallet is with my keys."

"I would even take Lex Luthor right now," he desperately banged his head up against the bars.

"What are you even in here for?" Roy suddenly asked. Wally sighed miserably.

"Now I have to go through **that** story again. . ."

 _Wally walked down the buzzing streets, dodging rushing people with ease. He looked across the street, spotting his intended destination._

 _Al's Adult Movies and More. He grinned from ear to ear-_

"He tried to shop at an adult store, than pantsed a cop," Artemis said blatantly.

"Oh" Roy said in realization "—what was he shopping for?"

"Does it matter?" Artemis scoffed.

"I'll just call Dinah."

"No, she'll tell Ollie, who'll tell my uncle Barry, who'll tell my parents."

"It's a lose-lose situation all around," Roy shrugged.

"Can't you guys go rob a bank?"

"Not that we would do that," Dick spoke loudly to the nearby officer.

"Maybe I can help," Dick fumbled with his wallet. With a pleasantly surprised grin, he smoothly walked over to the lady who sat at the desk.

"Hello officer—Dooty . . .?" He put a hand over his mouth, contorting his laughter even more.

"It's pronounced Douty," she grimaced.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me," she sighed.

"Ya darn right I will! I am the Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne's ward," he smirked coolly. "But, I'll just let this do the talking."

He slipped out a hundred. "Take a look at good old Benny here."

"Come with me," she grinned, as she led him over to the cell, taking out her keys, she unlocked the cell.

"Oh, thank you-ah!" Dick was roughly pushed in, and the door was slammed shut. "I-uh, think you meant to let him out."

"Well, now, you can join him, for trying to bribe an officer."

"Oh, come on!"

Wally stared at him dryly. "My opinion of you has never been lower . . ."

"How is it my fault we got the one cop who wasn't a pushover?" He grumbled.

"Roy. For the love of all inmates everywhere, get us out of here!" Wally pleaded.

"I'll think of something. . ."

"Well, hurry up. Before long we'll be down the river, up the creek, two cells away from the prison capo!" He exaggerated. "I don't want to go back to jail!"

"Wally!" Dick grabbed him by the shirt and slapped him.

"Ow! Thanks. . ."

"Wait, where's Megan?" Artemis suddenly asked. Consequently, Bruce walked up.

"Holy mother of all living frick," Wally breathed out.

"What does that even mean?" Dick turned to him.

"I don't know."

Dick shrank as Bruce scowled at him. He turned to the officer.

"I'm sure there's a misunderstanding. Officer, these are good kids, I'm sure they didn't mean to do—whatever it is they did."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wayne, but it's the law."

"Well, maybe there's something else you want . . . like a special edition, commemorative, calico calendar. . ."

She gasped sharply. "How did you know I wanted that?"

"Just a hunch."

"I guess it wasn't anything too serious," she fidgeted nervously. She gingerly shuffled over to unlock the cell door.

"I'll even throw in some of that Persian cat food."

She skipped away happily. He turned to both of the boys.

"Do you know how much trouble you're in . . ." Bruce shapeshifted into Megan "if anyone found out . . ."

Both of their jaws dropped.

"Thank you so much," Dick breathed out hoarsely.

"Wow, Bruce really freaks you out, huh?" Wally chuckled.

Dick turned to him with a death glare on his face. "That isn't funny . . ."

"How'd you know she wanted a calendar and cat food?" Artemis asked.

"I read her mind," she said nonchalantly.

"All's well that ends well," Roy smirked.

"Wait, you still have that video . . ."

Roy bolted out of the room.

"Roy, get back here!"

 **TT**

 **Wasn't too terribly long but I hope you enjoyed!**


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